
YOU MUSTN’T TELL THE MAN OF IRON!
when the play was more accurate than the movie

Soon
#this guy is luke windsor #tom publiciist #omg #a whole new world of revelations has opened before my eyes #now i understand why he was staring at tom #itom is all like ‘and loki is broken and bla bla bla’ #and luke is like #tom #no #not again #we haven’t all the day #say that loki is a little shit a stop it
Aw, poor Luke! He must be like that all the time.
#Tom we are on a god damn schedule, get your sexy butt over here! #NO TOM! Stop hugging another fan. Leave the poster there Tom - you haven’t got time to sign anything else #Oh for Pete’s sake he’s off again…YES TOM, YOUR CHARACTER’S VERY DEEP, YOU DON’T NEED TO EXPLAIN IT AGAIN #Right, that’s it, I’m bringing in the pudding cup.
THIS ^^^
Pudding cup is a good choice. This man know his job, I feel safe to entrust Tom in his hand. /sobs

OH MY GOD WHAT
WHAT IS THIS
Earth’s Mightiest Heroes on Russian TV show “Late Night Urgant”.
Chris won, btw. No surprise here!
Look at the differences in their stances:
Tom does a little elegant HORROR MOVIE HEROINE KILLING THE WRONG BAD GUY.
Renner just basically presents himself to Chris.
Chris… well, that’s how they open beer cans in Australia.
/steals all of them
OH MY GOD THEIR STANCES
lol Jeremy wtf is that you’re never getting any real force behind it that way
/more innuendo
And Chris saving Jeremy from Tom’s swinging at the beginning. GET BACK, YOU CAN’T TRUST LOKI WITH A HAMMER.
Reblogging for all the glorious commentary, omg. I noticed Renner failed to get any momentum going, but I had not seen the way he presented himself to Chris.
I want to go back to that dream from last week, plz.
(Also, I wish I could think of someone for Renner to be, because Hemsworth is George Kirk and every time I see Hiddleston I think “Wow, he’s a young British Brent Spiner!”, but I’ve drawn a blank!)
It’s not the size of the hammer, it’s the way you swing it, yeah?
Hemsworth: Motions of a man who’s had to swing a sledgehammer as a builder. Complete with OH&S kneebending.
Renner: LOOKIT ME, I’ GREW UP CHOPPIN’ WOOD.
Hiddles: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING SO HAVE SOME OVERLY DRAMATIC SWINGING.
^All of this.
Jeremy Renner’s ass is my favourite actor.
His handler’s worried little face in the background amuses me greatly.

Dear Tony,
Thank you for showing me how to use the internet. You’ve been very helpful in getting me accustomed to modern culture. There is one thing that I feel strains our relationship however. Precisely, your inability to see me as a sexual object who would like to strip you out of your armor and fuck you on every available surface, including, but not limited to; Fury’s desk, Coulson’s desk, Bruce’s desk, every car you own, Asgard and any possible dimensions we might be thrown into.
To help accomplish this goal, and to assuage your guilt at “corrupting” an American icon, here is a list of people I have slept with. Edited for family members (sorry your dad was a fox).
1. Bucky (how could you not have guessed that?)
2. Peggy
3-18ish. Not more than 20 but no less than 10 fellow soldiers (it was wartime okay)
19. One of your dad’s research assistants (I like them smart)
20-25. Aforementioned exclusion
26. A French lady
27. The French lady’s friend
28. The French lady’s gentleman friend
29. Family exclusion again.
30-38. Star Spangled Singers
39. Bucky
40. Peggy
41-???. Bucky + Peggy
Please consider my request and get back to me ASAP.
Sincerely,
Steve Rogers
Captain America
The First Avenger
***
Dear Steve,
I think you hit Send All.
Sincerely,
Bruce (please don’t do it on my desk)
***
Steve,
Please remember to put a tie, sock or other identifying mark when you and Tony are engaging in private activities.
Natasha (unless you’re into voyeurism in which case, hit Clint up)
***
Natasha! That was told in the privacy of a drunken stupor. Cap - GET IT! But legit look me up if you’re aiming for triple digits.
Clint
***
I hate every single one of you.
Coulson
***
Captain of the Americas,
Your list is impressive but have you ever slept with a G-d? Loki
***
How the hell did Loki get on this email chain?
Clint
***
Fellow Avengers,
It is I, Thor, who is responsible. I regularly send my brother interesting cat videos and music mashups that he will find amusing. I thought the email could provide the same sort of bonding in judgement that the place of tumbling does.
xoxo
Thor
Thor Odinson
***
xoxo?
Clint
***
Fellow Avengers,
Tony taught me that xoxo was the proper salutation for electronic communication. Does it not mean ‘death to your enemies’?
xoxo
Thor
Thor Odinson
***
Speaking of Tony, has anyone seen what his response was?
Natasha
***
I got a visual on both Iron Man and Captain America’s position. Let’s just say you going to need some strong disinfectant Bruce.
Clint
***
HULK :(((
I don’t approve of that aforementioned family exclusion business, but I still laughed.
Somedays, I really love this fandom.
