okay but hear me out:
scarlett johansson and natalie dormer playing a pair of rival assassins who fall in love and take down another assassin hired to kill them
According to the captions of the first Thor movie, the battle between the Jotuns and Asgardians take place in Norway, 965 AD. Around this time, Loki was born.
In Thor 2 the life expectancy was stated to be around 5,000. The average human life in developed countries from what I’ve gathered is approximately 82.
Therefore, in human years Loki is somewhere around 17.
#are you telling me loki is just going through his rebellious teenage emo stage
I seem to remember some interviews from 2011 where Branagh/the actors come right out and say “yeah, they may seem all grown up to us, but to Asgardian standards they’re still basically teenagers”. And it makes sense, because how else would Odin have been able to argue to Laufey that Thor was just a boy and his stupid mistakes shouldn’t be given the same weight as a grown man’s?
I love that someone did the actual math now though, ZOMG. :D
What I wanna know is how old are Thor, Sif, Fandral, Hogun and Volstagg?
^Ohohoh I’M GLAD YOU ASKED PREPARE FOR SOME LOGIC AND SHIT
We can assume Thor is roughly Loki’s age, but we know he’s the older brother. We can also assume he was young enough to not understand that Loki was adopted when Odin brought him to Asgard, so I’m going to say he’s about 18 to 21 in human terms, roughly 1058-1200 in Midgardian years.
We can also assume that Fandral, Volstagg, and Hogun are older than Thor, because in the original script (in a line which didn’t make it into the film) Volstagg mentions to Jane that it’s been about a thousand years since they were on Midgard, and asks her if she’s heard any stories about them. Therefore we can draw the conclusion that they were already mature/adult and doing cool shit in Norther Europe around the time Thor was born. Also, Volstagg has a family and children (and a sweet-ass beard), which marks him as much older than Thor. We can assume he’s in his prime, so I’ll put him down at about 2500 years old. Fandral I’ll put down as maybe twenty-five in human terms, or 1500 years old, and Hogun, who is a hard card to read (mostly because he only has three lines and nobody ever talks about him) I’ll assume is about 2000, if only because he shows signs of wanting to settle down in The Dark World (and his beard is hella bitchin)
Sif I’m going to put down as younger than the Warriors Three, mostly because Thor mentions having “proved wrong all who scoffed at the idea that a young maiden could be one of the fiercest warriors this realm has ever known” implying he grew up with her, or might even be a little older than her. She also seems to be familiar with Loki’s personality in a way the others aren’t (“he’s always been jealous of Thor”) so she may have grown up with the pair of them. I’ll put her down as a little older than Loki but younger than Thor, so about 1050-1190.
And that, my friends, has been your nightly lecture on Asgardian aging. [mic drop]
i want realistic modern fantasy like
someone finding a dragon egg and livetweeting the process of trying to hatch it (with no prior knowledge on how a dragon egg should be hatched)
a guy selling an enchanted sword on craigslist
a tattoo artist who does spell runes but for really mundane stuff like conjuring a bound demonic pen or for summoning your keys
summoning a demon for the vine
selfies with mermaids
prank calling wizards
ok but if there is a thor movie with the new thor i already have a fancasting
My mother once told me that trauma is like Lord of the Rings. You go through this crazy, life-altering thing that almost kills you (like say having to drop the one ring into Mount Doom), and that thing by definition cannot possibly be understood by someone who hasn’t gone through it. They can sympathize sure, but they’ll never really know, and more than likely they’ll expect you to move on from the thing fairly quickly. And they can’t be blamed, people are just like that, but that’s not how it works.
Some lucky people are like Sam. They can go straight home, get married, have a whole bunch of curly headed Hobbit babies and pick up their gardening right where they left off, content to forget the whole thing and live out their days in peace. Lots of people however, are like Frodo, and they don’t come home the same person they were when they left, and everything is more horrible and more hard then it ever was before. The old wounds sting and the ghost of the weight of the one ring still weighs heavy on their minds, and they don’t fit in at home anymore, so they get on boats go sailing away to the Undying West to look for the sort of peace that can only come from within. Frodos can’t cope, and most of us are Frodos when we start out.
But if we move past the urge to hide or lash out, my mother always told me, we can become Pippin and Merry. They never ignored what had happened to them, but they were malleable and receptive to change. They became civic leaders and great storytellers; they we able to turn all that fear and anger and grief into narratives that others could delight in and learn from, and they used the skills they had learned in battle to protect their homeland. They were fortified by what had happened to them, they wore it like armor and used it to their advantage.
It is our trauma that turns us into guardians, my mother told me, it is suffering that strengthens our skin and softens our hearts, and if we learn to live with the ghosts of what had been done to us, we just may be able to save others from the same fate.”
you know what you’re right i don’t want a black widow movie
i want a whole god damn trilogy
a merch line all for her, a set of action figures all for her in different outfits with different toys and accessories
i want her to have her own television spinoff all about her and her adventures
i want her to have her own cool costume for little girls in the disney store
i want her to have everything the male heroes get and then some
Me doing makeup for regular wear: Eh, I only look half dead. Just mascara is good enough.
Me doing makeup for cosplay: LAYER THAT SHIT ON. SKIN MUST BE PHOTOSHOPPED KOREAN BOYBAND SMOOTH.
KOREAN BOYBAND SMOOTH